| 14 DAYS TILL my BIRTHDAY
whoo hooo, i'm so excited
*note sarcasm*
i'm thinking i should explain that a bit,
well: a couple of years ago, my 14th birthday, was one giant disaster....
mainly my dad's fault
first, like a few days before our birthday, he (and mary, his gf)
dragged me and elena all over san diego to 'show them what we want for
our birthday', actually i thot that part was pretty cool, cuz most of
the time they were being really nice about what we thot we wanted, what
would look good in our rooms
*i'm more into functional things, not
those damn trinkets and dust collectors some people like to give ppl*
we went to ikea, prints plus, the container store, two different malls,
robinson's may [sorta like a jcpenny or macy's in san diego..pretty
cool stuff]...
....actually, i was suprised it was only a few days until
our birthday and they were just thinking about it
so, with our hopes all nice and high, we go home nice and happy
like the day after that , or maybe two days later, we have to go
back up to mv cuz we're gonna spend our birthday at the cabin, then
august 2nd or 3rd, we'd go back and celebrate our birthday with dad and
mary....
.....so we have a boring 'party' at the cabin (best part for me was
me and elena being able to take the canoe over to the island all by
ourselves... might seem simple, but its a big lake and we were fighting
the wind the whole way, and the island's on the other end of the lake,
there were speedboats and jetskis creating huge waves, and my mom
actually trusted us) my cousins kallee and jaymee took
over our little gathering and made it about them, not us. usually i'm
not that celf centerd *or i like to think that...*
any way our dad has the fone number at the cabin (you can see
where this is going) he doesnt call, doesnt send me a txt message [yes
he knows how], nothing. absolutely nothing. i was so
crushedi
mean, common! he's my dad, he's supposed to love me, yet he cant even
call to say hi, to celebrate the day he brought me into this world?
*well, mom did the actual work, but its his fault i'm here too*
the next time i saw him, i was hella pissed at him , but i didnt let him know, i just locked myself in my room ,
but he didnt even say happy birthday, or sorry, or nothing when he
picked us up, or mom dropped us off, i forget... ohh well... but that
night, i was expecting something, a cake, presents, something, a
cupcake with a candle in it!
just SOMETHING
i was soo mad ,
i was hella dissappointed too cuz he had dragged us around forever,
even tho i was cool, it is now considered dragging in my book cuz of
what happened later
but guess what: NOTHING HAPPENED big surprise..... huh?
probly why i hate my birthday so much....
.....but thats not all :
when i was six through eleven, my dad worked for a company, imatron,
it was a really cool company that was becoming really successfull
really quickly, thanks in large part to my dad! but, due to some
things i dont want to explain, imatron couldnt sell that many machines
in the US, so imatron did most of its business in asia, which meant my
dad, because he was incharge of sales, marketing AND research, spent
more time in asia than he did at home, it was cool, because i knew my
dad was making a difference in people's lives
*imatron was a medical
company that made and sold ct scanners, something people use ALLOT*
but, on our 8th birthday, dad had to go to australia. on our
birthday. so guess what, another crashed birthday! only this sucked
majorly, not that last year didnt either. they were both up there with
top ten BAD BIRTHDAYS... the night of our 8th birthday, dad and his
current gf (nancy, future fiancee, since split up...long story), ok so anyway, they took us to the SF
airport, so we can watch our dad crash our birthday... anyway, his
plane was delayed like 12 hours or something... but nancy had this
great idea *note sarcasm* to go to a restaruant called: Max's Opera
Cafe. goody. now, elena and i were 8, and had no idea what kind of
place this was, and its not like we could have changed their minds
anyway, so we went. it wasnt bad until they started singing. the
waiters and waitresses, maitre'd's and the like started SINGING
OPERA.... so nancy had another brilliant idea! tell them it was our
birthday! we ended up standing in the center of the room with a HUGE
waiter/singer holding our shoulders and the rest of the staff singing
'happy birthday' in english and italian *took twice as long.. ugh* it
scared us outta our minds and we hid under the table the rest of the
night, litterally HIDING UNDER THE TABLE.....
....the end
and now i'm just waiting to see how dad will ruin my day this year...
....and now i know....
...dad's gonna be in SWITZERLAND for my birthdayhe called today to tell me..... basically went like.....
"hey, i'mnot gonna be here for your birthday"
'uhh, what?'
" yeah, i'm going to have to be in switzerland"
'oh, uhh...'
"i'm sorry"
'whatever, i guess its not a big deal, just our birthday...'
haha.. yeah..i cant wait..
.oh, and i'm having some problems right now...
i dont normally wonder if my friends care about me
if i feel close enough to them i sorta assume they care..
at least just a little
yet theres this one guyi care about...
..alloti dont want to go out wiht him or anything..
.i just though twe were freiendsbut.
.. it seems like we're not
every time i talk to him its frustrating as hell and it seem slike he doesnt want to talk to me
or anything
why does it get to me so much
the guy's an asshole
but shit.
i've been...closer to him.. than i have been with any other guy
i feel a little emotionally connected...
but every time i talk tohim he's too busy to hang out or whatever, it just hurts...
....basically, now i just dont know what to do..
.and it really doesnt help...........
..........that tomorrow i have a follow up interview for a job.....
......anybody whos talked to me lately knows how important it is to me to finally get a job, it means a little independence for me, and anybody who knows me knows how i value independence and individualityi've always had self-esteem issues and always want approval and all that.
........so now i dont know what to do |
